Animal Urges - Chapter XV

Chapter XV -- Decisions

I am still unsure what finally prompted my decision to join the Legion - Vilja will not stop pestering me about it - but I suppose I see it as my best chance to help end a pointless war. I also think that Ulfric Stormcloak is naught but a regicide with his own self-interest in being High King. Furthermore, I detest the way most Nords mistreat other races; 'Skyrim belongs to the Nords!' indeed. Once again, do not misunderstand; I am not enamoured with the Empire, either, kneeling as they did to the Aldmeri Dominion and signing the so-called White-Gold Concordat, which forbade the worship of Talos - a sacred figure to the Nords, if no one else. Not to mention how the Dominion's Thalmor representatives poke their fingers into every pie in Skyrim by sending their 'advisors' to virtually every court in the land, and presuming to arrest and torture anyone they suspect might be guilty of Talos worship. Thus have I developed an abiding hatred for the Thalmor as great as or more so than what I feel for bandits; and I may tell you the story of how I stormed their embassy and freed a prisoner some time anon. Now is not that time, however.

I spent the following week in chaotic activity, moving back and forth across Skyrim, trying to do my duty as a new Legionary soldier as well as follow up various rumours and solve peoples' problems. This brought me some fame, I am immodest enow to say, including becoming Thane of several Holds - I have lost count: Whiterun, Falkreath, Haafingar, The Pale, and Markarth, I think. In turn, I acquired the pleasant but time-eating chore to try to build or at least furnish a home in each hold - even if most are homes where no one lives, save a steward, for the nonce.

Withal, most relevant to this tale is how I rejoined with Serana - or she with me. I had travelled to Riften for some un-recalled reason, arriving just in time to intervene in a vampire attack upon the citizenry. Whilst we had little trouble despatching the nightstalker and one or two of his thralls - my chief difficulty lay in trying not to hit guards or citizens who got in the way - when it was over, we discovered that Aerin, Mjoll the Lioness' one-time saviour and purported lover, was a victim.

"NNNOOOOoooo!" Glass greatsword clattering to the cobbles, the iron-clad warrior dropped to her knees in the street beside the body; no wounds were apparent, but that was a bad thing. "Why?" she wailed; I did not have to know the lanky fighter well to perceive her anguish. "How could he deserve this?" She suddenly sprang to her feet - quite a graceful move for such a big woman in heavy armour - snatched up her weapon, started hacking apart the enemy bodies. Everyone fled, save Vilja, Aela, and I. Once the street was awash with blood and body parts, she fell once more, this time prostrate over the corpse of her lover. Great, heaving sobs wracked the tall Nord's gore-splattered frame, though she emitted hardly a sound.

After a moment, I gently approached. Fortunately, I knew her well enough - I had retrieved her sword from whence she had lost it in a dwarven ruin and, but for Aerin, nearly died - or I may not have dared. I touched the flared epaulet of her iron breastplate; she probably did not feel it. "Mjoll... Mjoll, I am sorry."

"Leave me," she intoned dully.

"Mjoll, I cannot." My hand moved from her shoulder to the nape of her neck, left bare with no helm or camail; brushed aside the bloody, straw-coloured pleats. "He... Aerin was bitten... drained of blood. I am sorry, Mjoll. You know what must be done." I dared rub lightly with the tips of my fingers, having pulled off my gauntlets.

She did not respond for another moment. Then, "No. I" <sob> "will take care of him."

"Let me help."

"No." She gradually stopped shaking, looked up; tanned features mottled; soft brown eyes reddened; broad purple stripe of warpaint down the left side of her face shiny, streaked with blood and tears. "Yes, I... I know. Yes. Th-thank you."

---

Mjoll prepared him, as did all Nords, washing and dressing Aerin in his best clothes, arranging his most prized possessions around him on a long table in their home. Normally, there would then be feasting and mourning for at least a night and day whilst he lay in state, but we had no time to let him rest so, lest he arise undead. Thus, the four of us took Aerin to the funeral pyre outside of town. Mjoll placed what were likely all of his belongings - perhaps some of hers, as well, even aside from Grimsever, her greatsword that I had recovered - and, tears running freely, yet with no sound and perfect poise, she poked a torch here and there into the piled logs. Each of us at a corner of the pyre held one aloft, in salute; stepped back as the flames intensified.

"You can go now," the big woman murmured.

Feeling that it was more of a command than a release, we did so.

---

Next morning, still in full, gory armour, face now lined with streaked, dried blood, Mjoll approached our table in the Bee and Barb tavern, stopped before me, helm under one arm, kitbag strapped over the other shoulder; she looked as though she had been awake all night - likely had, in vigil. "I would go with you."

"Whence?" I suspected I knew the answer.

"These vampires must be wiped out!" She said it as though she were spitting poison.

---

Thus did I travel for a short time with three companions: Aela, Vilja, and Mjoll. We informed the Lioness what Aela and I were, yet it did not appear to faze her, and she lived up to her name - though perhaps we should have renamed her 'Mjoll the Dragon', such was her fury. She wielded the new two-handed blade I gave her, an ebony Sword of Terror (probably much better than Grimsever, though I would not have suggested so) as if every foe we met were a vampire. I almost felt sorry for any undead we would meet, but we happened upon none, all the way to Fort Dawnguard.

We encamped for the night beside the small lake just inside Dayspring Canyon; we would be at the fortress early the next day. As I have elsewhere mentioned, Aela and I shared a tent, whilst Vilja had her own, shared with Mjoll for the nonce (and I did not know how I felt about that). My blonde Nord companion had long since ceased her offers to cook or do anything for us. In fact, she had had little to say at all since the naked hot spring dragon-fight. I think she knew what was going on in my lust-filled mind, and I should have sensed her discomfort - yet it was much more than that, as it turned out.

"We have to talk." Vilja came upon us suddenly as I was helping Aela doff her armour just outside our tent - which, as I have related, we maintained a distance away for... decorum. Despite her tone, I would have known something was awry, as she normally said, 'Wouldn't it be nice to jest talk a little, you and I?' or some-such, when she wanted to ask or tell me something. Usually, it was not of major consequence.

"What is it?" I was terser than I meant to be; I saw the flash of hurt in her sad, blue eyes as I glanced up.

"I... I can't do this... anym-more." Her Nord-accented voice shook.

"Do what?" I foolishly asked.

"I... w-want to go home."

We had completed Vilja's quests, save for finding a relative of an acquaintance of hers, in order to remove a curse under which this acquaintance suffered. Thus, my next mistake. "We will stop at Breezehome on the way to Solitude - I needs must report for new orders at Castle Dour."

"N-No. Shrelle, p-please, look at me."

I did so, even though Aela was naked below the waist but for smallclothes, and I felt my nipples twitch, slit moisten, all yearn for attention.

I did not need more than another glance to see those bright eyes shiny with tears, Vilja's pretty face twisted as had been Mjoll's the other day - perhaps more so.

"No. I w want to go home... to S-Solstheim."

Something clutched at my guts. Though distracted by Aela's flesh as I slowly revealed it, I stopped, turned my full attention toward my other companion. "What? Why? I mean... We are not finished yet."

"I c-can't do this," Vilja repeated. Tears dripped steadily onto the exaggerated bosom of her golden elvish armour.

"What? You do not wish to hunt vampires?" I insisted upon obtuseness. "Very well-"

"Y-You... her," Vilja went on miserably. "Every n night, what y-you are doing... Eating p people - even if you d don't... k kills them. And then... And then w what you do h here - in there," she added, indicating our tent with a shaky hand. She appeared as though she might collapse.

I should have gone to her, but Aela was literally holding on to my arm - for support, as she had her brigandine half-way over her head, arms outstretched through it; she was blind and off balance.

"Get this off me," came the muffled demand from the Huntress. "Then we can discuss it."

"No." Vilja's tone hardened as I did Aela's bidding. "N No discussing. I'm going home. I will get a carriage or j jest ride Bruse to W Windhelm for the next ship. I... c can't stay with you any... m more."

"I... uhh... But I need you," I tried lamely.

"Oh? For w wot, may I ask?"

"Uhhh... You are a good companion. I like your cooking." That was incredibly stupid; I had not eaten her cooking since...

Through her pain, she looked at me as though my skin were still green from that experiment that had gone awry at the Mage's College in Winterhold a while back.

"You are a good fighter," I offered instead. At least it was the truth; she asked about her abilities often enough.

"So is M- Mjoll and... Aela. And any n- number of others who would f- follow you if you asked."

"I need your healing skills."

"You can get that p- priestess of Azura, Areana or w- whatever-her-name-is. Or Collette from the C- College."

I did not think that Collette would join me, but that mattered not. "The children love you," I essayed instead.

"What about you?"

There it was, then. "I... uhhh..."

"That's wot I thought." She turned and fled.

Later, through her tent flap, tied shut from the inside, I entreated, "Vilja, I am sorry. I will go with you. I have to investigate those cult assassins-"

"No... p-please." I can't be w- with you anymore."

"Vilja, I..."

"L-Leave, please. Please... jest l leave."

Continued in Chapter XVI

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