Terrible Company - Chapter 12 - Part 3

Chapter 12 - Part 3

Val was already dressed and back in her gear by the time she heard someone approaching, though she was surprised that it was the girls and not Ayen.  She was even more surprised when Katsa and Mathilda were still naked, and then outright shocked when she saw the men behind them holding them at swordpoint.  Katsa was wearing a particularly furious flavor of her normally sour expression. Ivy came through a moment later, and only then did Val realize that they were not merely stretching but had their hands up behind their heads.

"She saw them coming," Katsa said, nodding to Ivy.  "She was drawing us, and she saw them coming from far enough away that she drew them into the background!"

"All of you," shouted one of the mercenaries, a particularly gruff-looking character.  "All of you on your knees!"

Val was at once surprised and completely unsurprised to feel a lump in her throat at the sight of Katsa being threatened.  The instinct to lunge across the campsite and make a tidy mess of the the blonde's antagonist was figuratively overwhelming.  Not literally, but certainly figuratively.

Katsa and Mathilda knelt side by side, with Ivy kneeling slightly away from them and Val facing them from across the fire pit.

"You," the gruff one shouted, pointing at Val.  "On yer knees!"

The healer and the srcanist both nodded at her covertly, and Val huffed as she dropped down to her knees.  Ivy started nodding too, though she did so with a perplexed expression.  Val couldn't help but flex her biceps just a little as her fingers interlaced behind her head.  One of the shorter mercenaries in the back swallowed hard as he stared at her arms, and Val chuckled.

"Where is he?"

Val, Mathilda, and Katsa groaned in unison.  Ivy simply looked around, as if attempting to sort out the answer for herself.  Ayen had certainly been gone long enough to be done.  Despite the bemused expression she wore, Val's mind raced to find a way to get ahead of the curve.

Suddenly, she turned and stared at Ivy.  "3, 2, 1, go!"

Ivy beamed at Katsa, pure competitiveness without any of assuredness that normally comes with having won 23 straight rounds.  The arcanist looked back and forth in horrified, silent indignity, but her pride would not allow her to bend.  She drew herself up, ignoring the fact that she was still as naked as the day she was born, and met Ivy's challenging gaze.

"What's all that about?" the first mercenary asked warily.

"Nothing," Val said.  "They're just... um..."

"Well 'ello there," Mathilda crooned, as she caught one of the mercenaries staring at her.  She twisted a little toward him and spread her knees ever-so-slightly farther apart.

"Stay on target," the lead mercenary growled.  

The other one grinned sheepishly and nodded, but as soon as the leader's attention was off of him he looked back down at the healer with a smile.  

"The half-elf.  Ayen.  We know he's with you.  Where is he?"

"No clue," Val said.  "He was off bathing when you all strolled up."

"Down by the stream?"

Val nodded.

"You and you," the lead mercenary said, pointing.  "Get down there, and-"

"Nope," Val said, interrupting.  "He won't be there now."

"Yeah, like we'd listen to you."

"Do you have any idea who you're chasing?  He's harder to pin down than a greased chicken."

"Fuck!"  The lead mercenary glared out into the darkened forest and quivered.  "No matter.  We've got his friends.  He'll come back.""

The big orc laughed.  "If he caught even the slightest wind of someone looking for him, he'd abandon us in a heartbeat. He's not coming back."  

Ivy perked up, like she had something to add, but said nothing. The bard hopped on her knees, putting her fleshy, barely-contained breasts bouncing precariously close to popping out.

"So," the dwarf sang, torso writhing. " 'ow're ye doin'?"

"Goo-uh... good?"  The first mercenary blinked, stymied, and shook his head.  "Good."

"Ah can' 'elp bu' no'ice tha' yer wearin' a ring," Mathilda crooned.  The first mercenary blushed and nodded.  " 'at's fine by me."

"Stay on target!"

"Look," Val said loudly, "We're not going to make very good hostages if he's the one you want."

" 'ave ye ever been wit' a dwarf b'fore, lad?"  The first mercenary's eyes very nearly fell out of his head as Mathilda began tensing her arms and shoulders one at a time, causing each breast to pop in alternating fashion.  "Would ye like to?"

The lead mercenary grit his teeth as he looked around.  "Alright.  Kill 'em all."  

The few mercenaries around the periphery who didn't already have weapons drawn did.

"Um..."  The first mercenary raised his hand while still staring hungrily at the Healer.  "Hang on a tick.  Could we maybe not kill all of them right away?"

"Right now, private!"

"Well, see, the thing of it is, is that-"

"Private!" the lead mercenary roared.  "You are married!"

"Well yeah-"

"To my sister!"

"Right," the first mercenary said.  "Right.  But-"

"Sir," said a second mercenary, timidly raising his hand as he too stared down at the dwarf.

"Uh oh," Val said.  "Dissension in the ranks."

"Shut up!" the lead mercenary shouted.

"D'ye know 'ow long i's been since Ah've 'ad a good dick?  Two might no' even be 'nough."

"Sir," the second mercenary said, "are you hearing this?"

"I can, but what I can't believe I'm hearing is how you two idiots are falling for a honeypot."

"Sir, she's so wet I can see it from ten feet away!"

"An' gettin' we'er by th' second," Mathilda purred.

"They were fucking when we found them!" he screeched, red-faced.

"You know," Val said, "if you're looking to replace a couple of-"

"Shut up!" the lead mercenary screamed.

"If I may," the second mercenary said, stepping forward, "I feel like we could all benefit from-"

"So help me Gods, if you tell me to 'take a deep breath' right now, I will fucking end you!"

The second mercenary stepped back with his hands held up.

"It sounds like you have a bit of a discipline problem," the big orc said.  "Have you ever thought about leaving these guys behind and joining us?"

"Hey!" the first and second mercenaries said at the same time.

Mathilda lowered her arms and cupped her breasts, running the pads of her thumbs over the tips of her nipples, and blew a kiss to the first one.  

Katsa and two of the other mercenaries, who had thus far remained silent, turned and stared into the forest.  

The lead mercenary, meanwhile, quickly rifled through everyone's gear.  He threw some of Mathilda liquors onto the ground, breaking several bottles, but that didn't stop the little dwarf from putting on her little show.  He started to throw something from Katsa's pack, but thought better of it once the vial started glowing in his hand.  

Finally he got to Ivy's bag and pulled out her little stuffed bear.  The bard's eyes went wide as he held it up in the air by its ear and plunged his dagger into its neck.  The fabric tore in fits and spurts, with bits of fluff and stuffing pouring out as the hole became larger.  When the body finally fell away and bounced off the ground, Ivy had to covered her mouth with both hands to stifle the sobs.

"How long are we gonna do this?" the lead mercenary asked acidly.  "Huh?!   Where is he?"

"I'm tellin' you," Val said.  "He ain't coming back!"

"Not buying it."

"Guys," Katsa said, shifting her weight.

"I win!" Ivy wept, throwing her arms into the air despite the tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Guys!"

One of the mercenaries moved closer to the edge of the campsite and exclaimed "MANTICORE!"

The beast, as tall as any of the men in their camp, with the head and body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and the tail of a scorpion, leapt through the underbrush.  It was on the lead mercenary instantly, claws raking deeply down his chest, and that was the last thing that any of them noticed.  

All of the members of Terrible Company were on their feet and following Val within a heartbeat.

"-stop, for any reason!  Don't even-"

"-coulda a' leas' le' us pu' on a bra!  Mah poor-"

"-weird to see a Manticore so far north!  They-"

"-can't believe you drew them creeping up-"

"-especially so late in the year!  They usually migrate-"

"-don't stop running!  As long as we-"

"-by sound and smell for up to four miles?  Isn't that neat?!"

---

The light of the early dawn was just creeping through the canopy by the time Val, Katsa, Mathilda, and Ivy crept back to their campsite.  Ayen had cleared the bodies and at least kicked some dirt over the viscera and other bits he wasn't prepared to touch with his hands.  He'd even started to dig a few graves for their attackers, though he gave up from exhaustion and blisters long before any of them were deep enough to be useful.

Ivy insisted on a viking funeral for her stuffed bear, whom the rest of Terrible Company found out had been unsurprisingly named Bear.  However, none of them had any real talent with, nor owned, a bow.  Instead, Katsa left a small, swirling red vial on the makeshift raft of sticks, and ignited it with a snap of her fingers.  Ivy's tear-filled, elegiac rendition of My Heart Will Go On was cut short in the second chorus when the raft drifted beneath some low-hanging, leaf-less branches and the fire began to spread.

---

"No," Ayen said, shaking his head.

Val sighed and shook her head.  "Then the only people who knew we were out here were the two clerks in town."

"Can' go back then."

"What if I wore a disguise?" Ivy asked.  "Maybe if I wore one of my other hats, and tried to collect?"

"No lass," The dwarf said miserably.

"What about... my..."  The bard grunted as she bent over and rummaged through her pack.

"Doesn' ma'er, lass.  No amount o' ha' is gonna hide yer tits."

Ivy sat back up with a shrug and pulled out her yellow pad.  

"Another job we're not going to get paid for," the thief moaned.

"Need... disguise... for... tits..."

"We've go' supplies for weeks," Mathilda said, perking up a little.  "More if we can supplement with a bit 'o hunting."

"Any ideas?" Val asked.

"What if I painted them to look like some kind of melon, so I would look like someone small breasted who was trying to appear busty?"  

The big orc blinked.  "Anyone else?"

"Ah, for one, thin' i's abou' time we got some answers abou' why these people want ye dead."

Ayen slumped and shook his head.  "They don't want me dead.  They want me alive.  I'm worth nothing dead."

"Why no'?"

"Because I'm the King," he said reluctantly, extending his arms and open hands as if to present himself.

"Ya," Mathilda barked, quickly working toward a wheezing laughter.  "Ok."

"My father was King Gustav of Winternia."

Val and Ivy looked at each other while they processed, but the dwarf continued to laugh more and more uproariously.  "Isn't Gustav dead?"

"Yeah," Ayen said, swallowing.  "And the... um... the... Queen... needs me to legitimize her reign."

"An' 'e's married!" the healer squealed, rolling backwards off the log she'd been using as a seat and kicking her legs in the air.  

The thief shook his head and took another long swig from the bottle in his hand.

Ivy flipped through her yellow book for a moment.  "To Queen Lisbeth?"

Ayen nodded solemnly, the set of his brow clearly broadcasting his preference that that be the last question he answer for a little while.  

Mathilda continued to cackle to herself, clutching at her sides as she lay on the dirt, and only stopped when Katsa stomped into the campsite and threw the manuscript at Ivy screaming, "MY HAIR IS NOT POINTY!"

Continued in Chapter 13

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