Terrible Company - Chapter 15 - Part 2

Chapter 15 - Part 2

Valerie, Katherine, Ivy, Melinda, and Andrew turned, looking expectantly down the length of the makeshift table composed of pushing-together desks, and waited. Melinda swallowed hard.

"Will it?"

Dave pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let me... just... get this straight. You want to... ignite? A pile of horseshit?... to put a hole in the wall of-of this barn... because..."

"Well we..." Valerie looked around at the others. "We need to escape. Right?"

Dave's forehead sunk into his palm. "Really?"

Everyone nodded at each other, somewhat reluctantly, except for Ivy who nodded extremely confidently.

"You didn't even... I mean..." Dave shook his head and grit his teeth. Then he made a series of grunting sounds deep in his throat. "What are your perception bonuses?"

Valerie, Katherine, Melinda, and Andrew looked down at their sheets and twisted their lips.

"Plus five," Ivy replied confidently.

"You already failed yours," Dave grumbled. He picked up four of his dice and rolled them. And then smacked himself in the forehead. "Of course. So... so you're going to blow up this frigging barn, and not one of your is going to think to check the freaking door?!"

"I thought it was locked," Valerie said.

"You told me it was locked when we got back," Katherine snapped.

"No," Dave said, slapping the table repeatedly. "While you were all off taking one of your little breaks, she tried to pull and push the door."

"That's what I said," Ivy said.

He picked up four sheets of paper from the pile in front of him and threw them over his shoulder. "No. You know what? No. This is not happening again. Not again."

The group looked at each other in consternation as Dave reached into his backpack, and his eyes were wild when he sat down with his black notebook in hand.

"It's a frigging sliding door!" Dave screamed. "All she had to do was try to 'open' the door, but no. She pushed, and she pulled, and it didn't budge, so here we are." He flipped open the black notebook and made a few scribbled notes while everyone looked on anxiously. "Now..."

"...now?" Andrew said.

Dave looked up with murder in his eyes. "The barn collapses. It's gone. Broken wood all around you, and surrounding the frame of the where the barn had been is a giant metal cage."

"What?" several of them asked together.

"You're all in a cage inside of a cave."

Valerie leaned forward. "I thought it was daylight outside. How are we in a-"

"You're in a GODDAMN cage in a GODDAMN CAVE!"

Valerie sat back and looked sideways at Katherine.

"I'm the Dungeon Master!" he roared. "I am so sick and tired of the way you... just..."

Dave took a deep breath and calmed himself. He flexed his hands and then templed his fingertips just in front of his mouth.

"You're all in a cage." He paused, looking around the table, and only continued once everyone had nodded. "There are torches scattered infrequently about, casting a pale orange glow. It's barely enough to see each other, and you fear of how much larger the cave might be on the other side of the darkness. Or what the darkness might hold."

"Can I see if I can just lift this cage open too?" Val asked.

"You would need a natural 20 just to not hurt yourself trying," Dave said, with a dangerous look in his eye.

Valerie leaned back with her hands in front of her.

"It's bigger than a barn."

"Okay," Valerie said. "Fine."

"Made of metal."

"Can we just get on with it?"

Dave scowled and looked back down at his papers. "You can hear voices echoing. They're coming from all around. Getting louder."

"We're sittin' ducks," Melinda growled, in her affected dwarven accent.

"That's right, comes a familiar voice." Dave leaned forward and smiled darkly. "You are. Out of the shadows walks... The Narrator."

Ivy gasped dramatically.

Val turned toward Katherine and together they whined, "What?"

"Surprised? The Narrator says, as he circles your cage with his hands clasped behind his back."

"More incredulous than surprised," Katherine said.

Andrew and Melinda were giving Dave sidelong glances too.

"More voices. More echoes. Too far outside of the torches for you to make out. But you can just start to see some eyes, and some bits of metal, reflecting light back at you."

"Is this really happening?" Andrew asked.

"Oh this is quite real. The Narrator reaches out to rap his knuckles against the bars. The bars hum, vibrating from the impact." Dave shifted forward in his chair, and his eyes gleamed. "Welcome, he says, to The End."

"Is he about to give a villain speech?" Ivy asked, tilting her head.

Dave flinched, a momentary pause coupled with a twitching of his right eye, and smiled wider. "I wanted to introduce you to some friends of mine. A small woman appears at his side, dressed in all black like a hateful little shadow. She stares at all of you in turn, but it's Ayen she fixates on in the end."

"What the hell?" Andrew cries.

"You remember Ilsa, don't you?"

Andrew blinks and looks around. "Did we..." He casually shifts in his chair, using his body to shield the other players from seeing him gesture to Dave as he slides the index finger of one hand into the curled palm of his other hand.

"The Narrator lays a firm hand on Ilsa's shoulder. Ilsa, he says, smiling incongrouosly, has the dubious honor of being widowed... twice by your actions. You met her husbands in the back of a cart transporting a strong box."

Andrew laughed. "You mean those two idiots that..." He paused to lick his lips and blinked. "Did you say 'husbands'? Like plural?"

"They're not the only ones who would like a word with you. The Narrator turns the other way, holding out his arm toward where the now-dethroned Queen Lisbeth is approaching with a few of her remaining supporters."

"Are they still polymorphed to look like me?"

Dave flinched again. He traced his finger down one of the sheets and rolled his blue die with the yellow numbering, and sighed. "Yes. All of them."

"Are any of them having sex with each other?" Katherine said, smirking.

"I would," Andrew said, shrugging.

Dave snatched up two of his dice, rolled them angrily, and grunted when they stopped. "Yes. Three of them are off in the corner having sex."

"Awesome," Valerie said softly, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

Dave glared at Valerie. "Jerrod, First of House Clayborne!"

"Oh shit."

"The bitter Human male limps out of the shadows, looking a wounded shell of himself."

Katherine laughed.

"Katsa here murdered your girlfriend in cold blood."

Valerie blinked and looked at her character sheet. "Wait... what?"

"The entire town of Cloudsdale!" Dave shouted, pointing at the little blonde seated beside Valerie.

"Go back just a second," Val said.

"Why are they after me?" Katherine screeched. "That was all Mathilda."

Melinda tucked her chin into her chest and retreated even further behind the dark curtain of her hair.

"I had no idea you were a brony," Andrew said, leaning forward.

"A-a-" Dave stammered. "A what? No. I'm not..."

"What about me?" Ivy said. "Who shows up that's mad at me?"

"Oh my dear, the Narrator says, coming closer to the cage. No one here is mad at you. You would have had to have done something useful at some point to make an enemy."

"Hey," Melinda shouted, and everyone else was quick to echo similar sentiments.

"You are the worst bard. The worst!"

Valerie arched an eyebrow and leaned in. "It kind of seems like you're just using The Narrator as a mouthpiece when you, Dave, are really the one that's mad."

"I don't need to justify myself," Dave hissed. "This was all your stupid idea!"

Valerie bit down on her tongue and did everything she could not to look sideways, and Dave turned right back around on Ivy.

"The Narrator says, How could anyone hold a grudge against an incompetent buffoon."

"Hey," Andrew said, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the desk. "That's enough."

"The Narrator continues, I would wager there is not a single person in this hemisphere who has an opinion on you that goes any deeper than 'tits'."

Everyone leapt to their feet.

"AND CRASH!" Dave shouted. "As you collectively bum-rush the front of the cage like a bunch of animals, a wall comes down behind you separating all of you from Ivy."

"Now you're just making walls appear out of thin air?" Valerie scoffed.

"If just one of you," Dave said, pointing, "just one, had the tiniest bit of foresight and looked the fuck around, you would have seen that the cage had a divider hanging above it." He flipped his notebook forward a few pages, and showed them a sketch. In the sketch, half of Terrible Company was trapped on one side of a big cage while Ivy was trapped by herself in the other. "See? I drew this two weeks ago."

"I lied, The Narrator said, as he strode around the cage. Being careful to stay out of arm's length just in case anyone should try to make a grab for him. There is one person here that has a grudge against you, sweet Ivy, and it's me. He flips open a hidden latch on the outside of the cage, revealing a door none of you had seen, and pulls it open. Immediately, three of the remaining Ayen rush in, grab you, and drag you out into the open space outside of the cage. That man you stabbed in Hayeston? For cutting in line? That was my friend."

"But he broke the rules," Ivy said, tilting her head slightly.

"Well, now we're playing by my rules, the Narrator says, as he pulls a knife from his robe." Dave reached out for his blue die with the yellow numbering and rolled it. And then stopped. He stared at it, remaining completely still.

"It's a one?" Andrew said, turning his head to read the die upside down. "Is that bad?"

"A natural one?" Valerie cried. "Holy shit!"

Katherine looked back and forth between her party members. "What does that mean?"

"It's a critical failure!" Valerie grinned.

Dave slumped back down into his chair and gazed into space.

"Dude," Valerie said eagerly. "Dude! What happens?"

Dave licked his lips and looked around. His voice had lost all of its fire when he spoke again. "The Narrator pulled out his knife, held it aloft, then missed his target and committed accidental seppuku. Game Over."

"What?!" everyone cried.

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore. It's over. He's dead. Ayen and Mathilda go off and make lots of babies, Val and Katsa spend the rest of their lives fucking, and Ivy has an illustrious career in writing and performing bawdy limericks on the biggest stages in Tovekia."

"It can't end like that," Katherine said. "Come on! You've gotta do better than that."

"Better than that?" Dave said, looking up. "Better than that?" He bolted out of his chair and across the room, and came back a moment later with a bulging white kitchen trash bag. "Here's better than that." He tore into the bag as he approached their desks and upended it, dumping dozens of pounds of shredded paper onto the middle of their play area. "Here's better than that!"

"What the hell is this?" Katherine asked, picking up a handful of shreds.

"I spent six months preparing for this game," Dave raved. "I worked on backstory! I worked on religions! I worked on the Gods! I worked on Magic! I created a whole world, and in the course of playing, you assholes have shit all over all of it!"

"What are you talking about?" Valerie cried. "We've just been playing!"

"Do you remember the bear?" The dungeon master's eyes went wild. "The stupid, stuffed bear? Do you know what was inside that bear? Why the first merchant didn't want you to burn it?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"The deed to a diamond mine."

"So," Andrew said slowly, "it was worth a lot of money?"

Dave shook his head, eyes glittering with unshed tears. "At the bottom of the mine was a terrible beast of nightmares. Dealing with the horror it unleashed would have sent you across the continent for special weapons to fight it. Grand, epic adventures to get each one. I had campaigns set up for each weapon, for each of you, that you would have all done together, and what did you do?"

"We set the bear on fire," Katherine said.

"You set... the bear... on fire."

"Yeah," Ivy reasoned, "but it was like a Viking funeral."

"That's just the tip of the iceberg. In every single gaming session, I had clues for you guys that would have lead to much bigger things. You never found them, not once, and you almost always killed the person who would have helped you. You... you fucking savages! Do you have any idea how much time I spent making this for you?"

Melinda looked down at the pile of paper, and tried to imagine how many college rule notebooks would need to be shredded to make a pile so large. Her best guess was six.

"I tried to make this great for you. I made almost a hundred maps that just... poof! Gone! Never gonna get used now! I tried so hard, and every time I put a little bit of work into something, you monsters ruined it!" Dave looked down, as the tears started to streak across his cheeks, and hastily gathered his books into a pile. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this. I knew -I knew- not to play D&D with girls, but you talked me into it and you have ruined this for me."

"Hey," Valerie cried. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You made it weird!" Dave shouted. "Just like I knew you would! Just like girls always do! You think I don't know what you and her are doing when you both 'go to the bathroom'?"

Katherine leaned back, hiding behind Valerie, and looked away.

"All of you! Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know what you guys were doing?"

"I didn't-" Ivy started, but cut off when Dave screamed at the top of his lungs.

"You made it dirty! You made it all about sex! D&D isn't about that! I tried not to care, but you... you just..."

Dave gave one last frustrated scream and stormed out of the classroom. The door handle banged loudly against the rubber wall protector, and after that there was a lengthy silence. Everyone stared at everyone else without any of them quite meeting each others gaze. One by one, they all sat down and were quiet. Melinda had never been so uncomfortable in her entire life.

They all turned at the sound of approaching footsteps out in the hallway.

"Guys, I just saw- what the hell!" Mr. Davis, the history teacher who ostensibly served as the faculty advisor of the Clearmont High D&D Club, slowly went from his normal pale white to a very angry shade of red. "I just saw Dave Breddleton run out of here crying, and now this mess? Does anyone want to tell me what the heck is going on?"

"We had a fight," Valerie said, her voice weak and rough.

"And that somehow turned into someone shredding a books and making a giant mess in my classroom?"

Valerie nodded. The rest of them looked down and said nothing.

"You know we take bullying very seriously here at Clearmont. Is there anything you kids want to tell me now before I talk to Dave?"

"It was just a fight," Valerie repeated.

"Ivy?" Mr. Davis said. "Katherine? You're both top Honors students. I would hate for this to take the two of you out of the running for Valedictorian."

"I promise. It was just a fight. We'll clean up this mess."

"Oh that was a given," Mr. Davis said. "That was a given." He turned around and headed away, grumbling under his breath, and after that it was quiet again.

After a minute, Andrew cleared his throat. "I feel like I should respond to that... um... because..."

Everyone turned to him.

"For what it's worth, this is the coolest thing I've ever been a part of. You were all awesome. Coming here and playing this is the highlight of my week."

"Me too," Valerie said softly. "Coolest thing I've ever been a part of, and that includes winning the State Championship last year."

"Really?" Katherine asked incredulously, to which Valerie nodded.

When Andrew looked over at her, Melinda nodded profusely, but she couldn't quite bring herself to say it out loud.

"Me too," Ivy said. "And I don't know what he's talking about. It was never weird."

"There was some weird stuff," Katherine said. "Like why did he say you talked him into this?"

Valerie blushed and pressed her tongue into the inside of her cheek. "Dave owed me a big favor, so I thought... I thought this would be a good opportunity to..." Valerie looked directly at Melinda, and the longer she did, the more Melinda felt uncomfortable. "I thought this would be good for you."

"For me?" Melinda squeaked.

"When you play Mathilda, you come alive. I haven't seen you this animated in years."

"Val!"

"I didn't want to air this in front of everyone, but Mom and Dad are starting to worry about you. We all are."

"Could we not do this here?" Melinda said, folding her arms tighter.

"They're talking about therapy, and maybe anti-depressants, because we're losing you, and you don't need all that. I thought that we could make a place where you could be you, and just be the awesome person I know you are."

"Val!" Melinda frowned.

"You have so much imagination, and you hide it from the world."

"Okay Val!" Melinda glared.

"So you got Dave," Andrew said, leaning in between them slightly, "to make a game for her to play?"

"And so she could meet you." Valerie nodded at Andrew.

"Val!" Melinda cried.

"I mean, did you even know who she was before we started playing?"

Andrew shrugged. "Not really."

"She's had a crush on you for years-"

"Valerie, stop!"

"-but she was never going to do anything about it. I didn't think you would play on your own, because who are we to you/ So I thought if I could get Ivy to join, that would work."

"It did," Andrew said sheepishly.

"But Ivy didn't really want to. Not at first, you know? She was busy with drama club. Not until I got her best friend to play too."

Katherine smiled sourly. "That's why I'm here? Because little miss 0.01 higher GPA wants to be my friend?"

"Let's face it," Valerie said, holding her arms out. "None of us were friends before we started this. Not really. I mean, I knew you all enough to spot you in the halls, but beyond putting a name to a face?" She shrugged.

"I said yes because you were here," Katherine said, quickly and quietly, and Valerie smiled. "You know, I always thought this game was stupid, but I was wrong."

"Apparently you've just gotta play it with the right people," Andrew said, giving Melinda a smile.

"It doesn't have to end," Ivy said. "We can keep playing. I could be the Dungeon Master."

Valerie blinked. "Yeah, but... Dave had all the books."

"That's alright. I know all the rules."

Everyone blinked.

"Would..." Melinda stopped to clear her throat. "Would we want to keep playing these characters? Keep going with Terrible Company?"

Valerie beamed at her, and Melinda stuck her tongue out.

"I don't know about you guys," Andrew said, "but this kind of feels like the end of this."

"Yeah," Katherine said, and the others nodded with her.

"But we could do something else?" Andrew looked around, nodding. "Make new characters?"

"Whoa," Katherine said, grabbing Ivy's character sheet and turning it around "Where did you get eighty thousand gold pieces from?"

Ivy smiled brightly. "Dave and I had an arrangement where I was getting paid in gold for some poetry I wrote for him."

"Was it limericks?" Valerie laughed.

"Yup!"

"How are a bunch of limericks worth anything? I mean, I only have..." Katherine flipped to her own page and turned it around to look at the back. "Like... two hundred gold!"

Ivy shrugged. "There was nothing special about them. They were just standard limericks. Five lines with an AABBA rhyme scheme."

"Were they dirty?" Valerie said, smirking.

"They were all dirty. They all had to be worn at least once. That was the agreement."

Everyone blinked.

"Ivy?" Melinda asked.

"Yes?"

"Did you write those limericks on dirty panties?"

Ivy nodded, and everyone else groaned.

"How many times?"

"Oh I don't know. A few a week? For six months?"

"I mean, I know panties aren't super expensive, but how did that not cost a lot of money?"

"Oh no no no," Ivy said. "None of them were my panties."

Everyone blinked.

"Then whose are they?" Melinda asked.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure," Ivy said, looking up and squinting. "I mean, girls are always leaving them in my room afterwards."

Andrew bit down hard on his lower lip and shook his head. Melinda put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Okay," Valerie interjected. "When would we want to do it? Mel and I are going to have softball practice every day after school pretty soon."

"What about weekends?"

"Probably can't do it on Sundays," Katherine said, folding her arms tightly. "Gotta go to church."

"If they had any idea how much porn you watch," Valerie said, "they'd excommunicate you."

"Baptists don't do that. That's a Catholic thing."

"Nice deflection."

Katherine smiled extra sweetly, and then stuck her tongue out.

"So Saturdays then?"

Everyone nodded, slowly at first and then more enthusiastically.

"We can do it at my house," Andrew said. "My dad is usually traveling on the weekends and my mom won't bother us unless you come dressed as a wine bottle."

"Okay," Valerie said, fixing Melinda with a stare as she stood, "but if we're starting over, can we not do that whole 'I had lots of sex with my sister for years' thing again?"

"Val!"

"That was really weird."

Melinda grumbled and nodded reluctantly.

Katherine stood up and failed to hide her smile as she turned toward Valerie. "So do you want to come over to my house?"

"Ooooo," Ivy said with a grin. "You two are girlfriends now!"

"We are not," Katherine said.

"We just watch a lot of porn together."

Katherine turned beet red.

"And then fuck," Valerie added.

"Ugh!" Katherine shouted. "Fine. Whatever. Do you want to come over or not?"

"Are we going to watch porn?"

"Obviously!" she hissed.

Valerie smiled, and the two of them walked out side by side.

"I'm gonna go too," Ivy said, gathering her things. "I gotta make my inspection. Are you two okay to clean this up?"

Melinda looked at the pile and nodded. Ivy flounced out of her chair and down the hall, and then there were two.

"Crazy," Andrew said.

"Y-yeah." Melinda nervously ran her fingers through her hair. "Crazy."

"So you play softball?" Andrew got up and went to the back of the room to get a broom.

"Yeah, I... I play catcher. My sister pitches."

"So you do a lot of squatting?"

Melinda nodded nervously.

"That explains a lot."

There was something in the way he said it that made Melinda's heart race.

"Is that a lot like baseball?" Before Melinda could answer, he continued, saying "No, no. Don't answer that. Honestly, I don't know that much about baseball, so comparing it wouldn't tell me anything."

"Well," Melinda said, "we're pretty good. Maybe you could come watch a game? Once the season starts?"

Andrew smiled as he grabbed a trashcan and started shoveling scraps of paper into it. "I'd like that. But that's, like... months away, right?"

Melinda nodded and looked out the window. Outside, in the parking lot, Ivy walked back and forth in front of five football players. After looking them over she pointed to two of them, and that seemed to excite them greatly. Those two followed her like puppies while the other three trudged drearily in the opposite direction.

Andrew asked, "What are you doing this Friday?"

"Um... Hanging out? With you?"

"Good answer!"

Melinda smiled, and started to push her desk back into the row.

The End

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