Terrible Company - Chapter 5 - Part 1

Chapter 5: Overflowing Gaiety

Ellie stared at her from across the table. The thin, faded scar on her left cheek skewed her lip slightly, just as it always had. Val loved her crooked smile, cliche or not. Her hands slid, open, across the table, seeking Val's; small, dark Human enfolded within larger, green Orc. It felt good to hold Ellie again. Felt like home.

Suddenly she flinched away, staring down at her hands in horror. Blisters bubbled up from under skin, her flesh boiling of it's own accord. She looked up at Val, terrified, and screamed, but Val heard only the soft wind. Val's eyes were transfixed on her scar; it was glowing. Ellie noiselessly screamed again as her skin blackened and cracked, the space between lit orange from within. Her coarse, black hair gave off tendrils of smoke. The smell...

Bits of charred flesh broke off, carried away on the wind. Ellie watched them go in horror, her lips working soundlessly. She reached for Val, grabbing her hands, and Val recoiled in searing pain. Ellie kept reaching, her eyes glassy and dim. Unseeing. The bits of orange in between brightened, flared, until they covered everything. Her clothes, burned away. Everything. Burned away.

Val bolted upright, gasping for air, heart hammering at her chest. Her clothes and hair, drenched and dripping. The sky above her was already gray; dawn would come soon.

---

"All quiet 'cept fer you." Mathilda frowned sympathetically as the Orc sat down beside her. "Heard ya whinin' in yer sleep, lass."

Val stared blankly into the embers. "I'll take over if you wanna get in a quick nap before we move."

Mathilda shrugged and put the cap back on her flask. "Ah think Ah'll take ya up on tha'." The big Orc nodded as Mathilda ambled back to her makeshift pillow. She laid down and closed her eyes, but sleep was slow in coming. Between the soft wind, the occasional animal scurrying through the brush, and all the gods-damned trees, her senses simply refused to stand down.

"Hey," Val whispered. Mathilda popped an eye open and peeked back over her shoulder, but the sound seemed too far away to have been directed at her. "You awake?"

"Yeah," Katsa drearily whispered back.

"Then get up, bookworm. It's time."

Mathilda rolled onto her side and tossed her arm over her ear as the oddest pairing of fuckbuddies she'd ever known snuck away. A brief mental image of Paesa drew a tired sigh before she could quash it. It didn't help to dwell on things that could have been.

The enormity of things could have been made her want to explode sometimes.

Her eyelids drifted apart for a moment to find Ivy staring intently at her, but the Dwarf sighed and rolled onto her back. "C'mon, ye miserable bastard," she grumbled. "Lemme ge' a quick wink." Distant cries floated through the forest, as Val and her fucktoy began without going far enough to avoid earshot.

"Every day should start with that sound," Ayen sang as he stretched.

Mathilda shook her head and groaned. "At's like listenin' to an extended stabbing!"

"Some stabbings are better than others," he lilted.

Ivy leaned over to whisper conspiratorially. "He's talking about his penis."

" 'e's always talking abou' 'is penis," Mathilda groaned.

"And she's grumpy because she didn't sleep," Ayen said soothingly, as he leaned toward Ivy. "Why don't you and I head back toward the road a bit and I'll teach you a new song? It's got a powerful climax," he teased.

"No thank you," Ivy responded cheerily.

Ayen's grin never faltered. "Fine. You two stay here. I'm gonna make sure Katsa doesn't need some fluids to keep her strength up."

Mathilda took a few deep breaths and counted down from ten as she listened for his footsteps, but the blasted Elf never made a sound. How could you trust someone who was so damn quiet? she thought. She shook her head and rolled onto her back again; Ayen was nowhere in sight, and Ivy was frowning in thought. "Tha' time, 'e was talkin' abou' semen. Ah s'pose 'at still counts."

Ivy pursed her lips in thought. "What about when he was talking about not needing to hunt yesterday because he already had meat?"

"Penis," Mathilda replied.

"When he said he had something to help Val with her headache?"

"Penis."

"What about when he said the Tower of Halphais wasn't the greatest tower in the world?"

"Penis," Mathilda said, and Ivy nodded slowly. "Ya did a fine job of deflectin' his advances, lass."

"Is that what that was?"

"What'd ye think 'e meant by 'powerful climax'?"

Ivy scratched her chin with the tip of a fingernail. "I thought he was talking about a crescendo."

"Nope. Penis."

"I had no idea he liked me like that." The Bard shrugged and laid back down. "It's sweet, but I kind of like my men to be..."

"Not complete pigs," Mathilda suggested.

"What? No.... I was gonna say more manly."

Mathilda cackled. "Yer alright, lass. Any time 'e's ever comin' on a bit strong, feel free ta signal me fer backup."

"Oh, I think I can handle him," the redhead said. "My training involved a lot of groping and coming on me."

"Ah think ya mean they was comin' on to ya."

"That too," Ivy said with a nod.

The Dwarf kicked her feet up in the air with a short, barking laugh. "We're gonna get along just fine."

Ivy beamed.

---

The Half-Elf sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as he stepped over a small puddle in the road. Val smiled to herself, although it was only a fleeting moment of sadistic joy. She shook her head and trudged on. The forest had only gotten thicker as they'd walked, and it was putting an itch between her shoulderblades.

"I'm hungry," Ayen whined.

"We know," the rest of them groaned in unison.

"I could eat an entire rack of wyvern ribs! You know what I can't eat? A stupid book."

Katsa sniffed in indignation. "You just don't appreciate it's true worth."

"Can tha' book make food?"

"No," Katsa snarled, clutching her bag even tighter.

"Add it to tha list, lass."

"That makes 127 things the book cannot do," Ivy replied brightly, making a few vigorous notations at the bottom of her notepad.

"You don't have to keep giving me the running tally," Katsa hissed.

"Oh, I most certainly do! I have it written right here." Ivy flipped back a few pages, her brow furrowing as she searched. She triumphantly underlined the pertinent portion and proclaimed, "Article VII, paragraph 1. Constant reminders of previous missteps are legitimate recourse for offended parties."

"Whats's about articles now?"

"Bylaws," Ivy chirped. "I've been recording our Party Bylaws."

"Doesn't sound like any party I've ever been to," Ayen quipped, "and my preposition is fine right where it is."

Ivy blinked and closed her mouth.

Val glared sideways at Katsa, who pretended very hard not to know any such thing was happening. "We're not a Party!"

"You're right," Ivy said, nodding. "Adventuring parties are too overdone. What would you guys think about something non-traditional? Like... The Sweeping Force." She swept her arms out demonstratively.

"S'abit high concept, innit?"

"This isn't happening," Val grumbled, rubbing her forehead.

"I second the idea of something non-traditional," Ayen said, "but not The Sweeping Force. Makes it sound like we're maids. Not that there's anything wrong with maids... especially when they're wearing cute little uniforms."

"My vote makes three! The motion carries!" Ivy flipped a few pages further toward the back of her notepad and began to scribble furiously. "Something... non... tra-di-tion-al."

"Can tha' book help us find a name?"

Katsa bristled. "No," she gritted out reluctantly.

"128!"

"Seems abit useless, dunnit?"

"Your inability to comprehend the value of this tome changes nothing!"

Mathilda shook her head as they walked. "S'not a problem of value, lass. It's clearly worth one harpy egg, plus the time 'n travel of the five of us. It's the exchange rate Ah'm havin' trouble with."

"As our Benevolent Dictator for Life, exchange rates are pretty much your purview," Ayen said.

The Arcanist rolled her eyes in irritation.

"Got any rules in 'em Bylaws fer votin' greedy, self-centered snobs outta power?"

Katsa scoffed as Ivy quickly scanned through the small yellow pages. "No," Ivy said, "but I think a simple majority vote would suffice. That's how we've been handling most things."

"I didn't want to be in charge," the Arcanist defended, "but someone has to do it."

"No' you. No' anymore. All in favor of votin' Katsa out as de facto leader?"

"Yup," Ayen said fervently.

"What about The Magnificent Five?"

"No. Too close to Tha Magnificent Seven and focus, lass! We need yer vote!"

"Oh no," Ivy said, shaking her head. "I'm the counter. I'm impartial, except in case of a tie."

"I abstain," Val grumbled.

Katsa clicked her tongue and sulked along behind the others, clutching her bag ever tighter.

"Then the motion carries!"

A sudden calm struck the Arcanist. Her stride lengthened, and her usual confidence was fully present. "I nominate Val to take over."

"What?!" The Orc lost her cool as quickly as Katsa had recovered seconds earlier. "No. No way."

"Do we even need a leader?" Mathilda mused. "Ah mean, is absolute democracy completely off tha table?"

"Seconded for Val," Ayen quickly added.

Val growled. "The next per-"

"Thirded!" Ivy cried. "The motion carries!"

Val threw up her hands in frustration and stared at down at Katsa. "You know I didn't want this."

The Arcanist, for her part, smiled innocently. "My father always used to say 'responsibility builds character'."

The big Orc drew herself up to her full, towering height. "If my character gets any bigger," she hissed, "it's gonna split you in half."

Ayen winced at the thought.

Val's fists quivered at her sides, nostrils flaring with annoyance. "Fine," she snorted. "Drop your gear, Limpy. You're going scouting."

Ayen groaned as he unshouldered his pack with a sigh. Val enjoyed another all-too-brief moment of sadistic joy watching his backside as he hobbled off ahead

"Ah take it tha' hitch innis step is yer doin?" Mathilda sneered as she scooped up the Half-Elf's pack.

"He's just playing it up for sympathy," Val smirked. "That didn't leave him half as 'butthurt' as getting back to find you using Ivy's tits for a pillow."

Mathilda rolled her eyes. "Nothin' 'appened!"

"The only things I know how to say in Elvish" Katsa chimed in, "are curse words. He said all the ones I know and I few that I didn't."

"What about Terrible Company?" Ivy interjected.

"That's the best suggestion I've heard yet," Sarcasm dripped from Val's voice. "I'm so glad we brought her along!"

Ivy preened, oblivious, and made a few notations in her notepad.

Katsa resumed her sulking.

"Terrible?" Mathilda asked, a few seconds later.

"Yeah, yanno... like, Terrible as the Dawn!"

The Dwarf quirked her head as they walked. "Issat some kinda human sayin?"

"Read it in a book."

"Some'ow, Ah think ya got that one wrong, lass."

Continued in Chapter 5 - Part 2

---