Yamara - Book 2 - Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I dreamt. The dreams were figments and shadows and altogether unholy. Dark shapes reaching for me from the depths of I knew not where. They grasped at my body, trying to pull me down but I fought against them, unable to clearly see any of them but knowing they were there by the cold feel of their hands on my body and their none to gentle tugging. Then the shadows stopped and drew back away from me. From the gloom that surrounded me in my subconscious hell a figure emerged to face me.

It was a man. More a boy then a man, I doubted he needed to shave to keep his chin clean. He looked at me and I sensed a distinct familiarity to him, though I could not place him. Some of my surroundings became visible for a moment, and I saw that I stood in a deserted alley upon dusty ground that was hard baked dirt. Then the alley vanished and I was once again alone in the dark with the boy, who seemed to glow with an internal light. I felt myself moving towards him, of no volition of my own, and as I grew closer I felt a great fear outside of me. That the fear did not come from within me caused my own fear to rise. I did not understand what was happening, I could only watch. I had no power to act, speak, or even think for myself it seemed.

The boy was in my arms then, He fought back suddenly, his youthful strength valiant but unable to stop me. In seconds he was stiff with terror and no longer offering any resistance. He stared at me with fearful recognition in his eyes, then I descended upon him. I bit into his neck, taking no care at the delicate nature of his skin. My teeth, sharper then they possibly could have been, easily knifed through his skin and artery. The hot liquid pulsed into my mouth, filling me with its salty metallic taste. I struggled within myself, trying to put a stop to the nightmare.

In minutes that seemed to last only seconds the young man died in my arms. I let him fall to the ground then and looked down at myself. My blouse was covered in his blood. My hands dripped it into the darkness below my feet. The corpse was gone, disappeared as though it had never been. Everything faded from me then, everything but the feelings. The rush of excitement. The feelings of power. The joy I felt at the taking of the boys life. He had been only a few years younger then I, but knowing how easily I had dispatched him brought an elated feeling into me. I did now know if the feelings were my own or someone else's. They felt alien to me, yet alluring and comfortable as well. Then I descended into darkness again.

I arose from the depths of my nightmarish slumber several times, though instead of arising to wakefulness, I returned to the surreal dreams. Each one was violent and terrifying, yet equally arousing and exciting. I grew more and more confused with each one, and more and more terrified as an explanation began to form in the back of my mind. While the first had been a vampiric dream, none other had been anything like it. They all involved the claiming of what appeared to be innocent lives, but the methods varied. All were personal and disturbing, more so as they felt so fulfilling in an alien way.

My final dream was undeniably my own. It took place in Brina's room in the palace with myself, Brina, and James in our fateful confrontation. I saw the fight take place and watched it unfold with a critical eye. Then realization dropped on me, I was not watching it as I should be. I saw myself and James fighting! The person I did not see was Brina. I was Brina. It was undeniably not my own!

The pillow came up and James' sword cleared it from his field of view. My sword crashed into his, slamming it out of his hand. It happened in slow motion now, my dagger reaching out propelled by my lunging hand and stabbing into his shoulder. I tried to scream. I tried to call out and beg for them to stop. Then I realized I was not the one trying to do this, but Brina was. Or more accurately, both of us were trying to make it stop, but I was just a passenger in this memory she was sharing with me somehow.

James pulled back away from me and closer to Brina, who was also me at the moment. I felt Brina's confusion, felt her want to shrink away and hide from him. I could feel his fear and his anger. Before Brina could move he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to him. I felt the pain as her hair tugged loose of her skull at points, yet most remained and drew her to him. Then the cold steel at her throat, rasping harshly against her so soft and delicate skin.

"Leave now, Yamara, and you can escape," He said, panting. The words came fresh in my mind as he said them, I had hidden them deep within me but would never be able to forget them. "I will hunt you down, of course, but if you leave now Brina comes to no harm and I will give you until the morning ere I send out my men."

Brina's confusion and fear nearly caused her to panic. Instead it tricked her into hesitation and a decided lack of doing anything. She shivered as chills ran down her spine and she looked at me pleadingly. Then James whispered into her ear. Our ears now.

"Don't worry, love, she will do you no harm and will only leave us in peace now," was what he whispered to her. It was as I remembered it exactly.

I braced myself, prepared for the horror that was to come. I knew what happened next, yet something deep within me turned cold and made me suddenly terribly afraid. He was going to cut her throat and push her onto my blade and I did not think I could bear to see it again.

"I can't let him use you against me, Brina," I heard myself say. The cold that was within me settled over me suddenly. I had buried that deep within me and refused to let myself remember it. I felt Brina's sudden spike of fear and felt her realize she had to act and act right then.

Brina's head snapped back, taking my vision with her. I, we, felt his nose crumple against the back of Brina's head. A terrible burning pain entered her belly then, driving through her and out her back. Another knife edge of agony tore along one side of her neck. James stumbled back, letting go of Brina. My sword in her belly was tugged painfully again as it slid free of where it had stuck in James. I looked down and saw Yamara, myself, let go of the sword that impaled us. Brina's hand rose to her throat to try and make the burning stop, but it only seemed hotter when the blood washed over her fingers.

My dagger was in James' throat by then, though I did not see how it happened, chained to Brina's vision as I was. All of my own emotions had gone numb and cold by now. I was seeing it as she had seen it. Experiencing it as she had. I was understanding how she had truly died. Her other hand, the one not grasping at her throat, reached out to me. I felt her trying to reach for me, to pull me down to her to take the pain away and make her better. I saw myself stand there with an face of stone. Then I knelt down beside her, taking her hand in mine. I felt Brina cling to it desperately, she put every last hope she had in using my hand as a lifeline.

My gut twisted inside at what I knew was going to happen. I wanted to be sick. I wanted to die for what I had done. Watching my face from Brina's eyes, I saw that my own face had gone terribly white and what I thought was excellent emotional control at the time was anything but. The reality of the situation had crashed into me, my eyes watered and a tear spilled down my face while my chin quivered.

Brina pulled me closer then, desperate to ask me for help. She knew she was dying and there was no hope, but she had seen the magic of my potions and hoped for a miracle cure. I had done the impossible time and again to her, surely death was just another thing I could fix for her. She adored me and forever would, no matter what happened… if only I could just do this one thing for her.

Brina gagged on her own blood, unable to talk. I saw myself succumb completely to my emotions. Tears ran freely. I knew then that she understood what had happened. She understood and she forgave me. She actually forgave me. In this wretched dream where I had no control, where no one could ever see me or ever know, I knew grief unlike any I ever had.

"I'm sorry Brina." I heard myself say it and I knew that no matter how I had felt at the time, the passing of time since then had made it all the more true for me now. I could not fathom a deeper regret then the one I felt. The next words I remembered well over the years, though with some pain. "I loved you."

I had admitted it to her at long last. Always sisterly our affection had been, at the end I wish I had acknowledged that my love for her had been on every level that I knew.

Hearing that, Brina relaxed. Her arm dropped from mine and she accepted her fate. She relaxed and let me go. I felt such sadness and longing in her as we drifted apart. Darkness claimed us. I prepared to succumb to my typical restless period of darkness.

Then she came. Brina woke and I awoke with her. Kneeling over us was a demon straight out of one of the deepest and darkest places of existence. She was awesome and terrible and dark. Beautiful beyond any measure. Taller then any women I had ever seen, she further defied nature by possessing a tail that lay gracefully on the floor between her legs. That and the large batlike wings sprouting from her back. Her wrist was sealed to Brina's lips and a fiery liquid filled her mouth. Brina swallowed as her mouth filled, the demoness's blood burning it's way down her throat like a potent whiskey. She was filled with terror at first, uncertain of what was happening and knowing on some basic level that it was wrong. Still she could not stop herself.

I felt Brina's thoughts and feelings as she rushed back to consciousness. She grasped at the opportunity to live and sucked feverishly at her wrist with no thought to the consequences. As the fiery elixir worked its way through her she felt it reawaken her body and infuse it with a warmth to replace the cold that had been settling in. She actually felt the torn tissues and muscles in her stomach knitting themselves together again. Her throat already felt as though nothing had happened to it.

The more she drew on the demoness' wrist, the more angry she got. Everything came back to her about the fight. She pulled more fiercely. Then the magical creature tried to pull away from her. Brina and I saw James standing above, looking down at us. His features had changed. He had become paler and more grim looking then before. Fury unlike anything I had ever felt rushed through Brina. She wanted to rip James apart and I was glad. Brina latched onto the succubus' arm and continued to draw its strength into her, easily overpowering the weakening creature.

Finally, seeking escape from the unnaturally strong woman, the succubus dissolved into the shadows from which she had coalesced. Not willing to be cheated, Brina inhaled and drew the essence of the demoness into her, not stopping until she had fully contained her. Brina felt the power rush through her body, infusing her with strength and vitality. She felt invincible.

"Come my love, this is no place for us."

Brina stood up slowly and glared at James. Her intent was to lash out at him and keep lashing out until nothing remained but bloody pieces. Before she would have easily been able to kill him with her own hands, but now she was sure could do more then kill him, she could rend him limb from limb. She tried to take a step towards him but her body refused to obey her.

"Hate not me, Brina, for I am not the one who plunged the sword into you," James said, seeing her look. "We are to be together for eternity, my bride, let yourself love me as you once wanted too. Yamara we will deal with when the time is ripe for us to do so."

I tried to scream at her to tell her what he was saying was a lie. I struggled but I was merely a silent passenger in this dream, this memory. I wanted it to end anew, I could bear to watch no more.

I felt the understanding flush through Brina. She realized that her first instincts had been right. Perhaps it would have been better to let death claim her. Now, somehow, she was bound to James. He was her Lord and Master. What he said even began to make sense as she thought it over. Yamara had moved first. She had plunged the sword into her. Perhaps James' dagger cutting across her throat had not been James' intention. Yes, all along he had wanted no harm to come to her, he was merely bluffing. She could understand it now.

Brina's consciousness took a turn then, it turned inward and it found me. I felt her staring at me, even though I was not there. The image of her eyes, now filled with a hateful fire, stared at me. I cowered before them and before myself. "It's a lie!" I tried to tell her, "he's telling you lies about what happened!". Of course my words never formed, in the ethereal nightmare I remained silent and forced to endure the passage of events.

"Yamara!"

I woke up to someone shaking me. My body was cold in spite of resting next to a campfire.

Continued in Chapter 10